On Trust

Recently, I got lost in the woods.  I was hiking through snow, and found myself at the top of a ridge with the sun going down.  I had been following a path that had many footprints on it, but the tracks had dwindled until it was just me, the rabbits and the elk.  The trail was meant to be a loop, but it did not seem to be looping.  I could turn back or continue, but either way it looked like I would be hiking in the dark. I paused for a moment.  It was beautiful with the sun setting and reflecting the snow. I snapped a photo, thinking- maybe I'll appreciate this later. Then I made a decision to stick to the path I was on, started walking faster and had a conversation with my fear. 

Fear:  "You are going to freeze out here in the woods."
 
Me:  "I am not even cold right now.  If I keep walking, I'll stay warm."
 
Fear:  "Soon you won't be able to see the path.  You'll become hopelessly lost."
 
Me:   "The moon will give some light.  If I need to I will take it slow."
 
The conversation went on like this until I realized it was pointless.  I didn't stop being afraid, I just stopped talking to my fear because it had nothing helpful to say.  The sun set, but the path was still visible by the opening it made between the darker trees.  The stars began to come out.  Every so often I would get a little 'worst case scenario'  update from my fear.  I kept breathing, and remembered that I had survived other tricky scenarios.  Like the time I was dropped off by a train in the middle of the night in a tiny town in Spain and couldn't find the key to the house I was staying in.  Or the time I got lost hiking in New Zealand and stopped at a farm cabin for water and directions.  Or the time. . . Actually, there were quite a lot of times that the worst could have happened, but did not.  So maybe this was one of those times?  I stepped around a boulder in the middle of the path. It was heading downwards. The bottom of a mountain was definitely a better place to be after dark than at the top.

An hour later the trail ended at a much larger dirt road.  I walked along it until I saw the lights of a truck and flagged it down.  It was a family who had been out hunting elk.  They listened to my story, refused any kind of payment and dropped me off at my doorstep in town. 
 
Safe at home with a warm cup of tea in my hand, I looked at the map and realized I had taken the shortest route home possible.  Up on the ridge I couldn't have imagined this outcome.  But there it was.  

All of us have been in a place unknown.  All of us have hit a wall of panic or fear.  Trust is just walking without knowing the end.  It is just moving forward one step at a time.  When plans fall short.  When our imagination fails.  We can trust that the universe is larger than what we know.  Trust that we are more capable than our fear.  Trust that the only way to find out what we don't know is to keep on walking in the dark.