‘Doing Nothing’
Meeting a friend for coffee, the first question is: So, what have you been doing? What follows is a list of things done- projects, excursions, activities: a shopping list of experiences. Doing and getting things done is highly valued in our culture. But there’s another way to experience and process the world: The mysterious and enigmatic state called Being.
Being is not the same thing as relaxing, although you can relax in this state. It is also not zoning out or falling asleep. Being is receptive while Doing is active. If you think of Doing as a horizontal axis: How Much? Being is the vertical axis: How Deep?
Most experiences include qualities of both, plotted somewhere between Being and Doing. Others are more singular. For example- when you are multitasking- doing more than one thing at a time you are more strongly on the axis of Doing. When you’re in a meditative state, you’re more connected with Being.
Another way to think about these states is as speed. Doing is movement- Being is stillness. Both of these states have advantages. When I’m riding my bike - my experience is spread out over a larger physical space- so I get impressions- but not the same level of detail and connection as when I’m laying under a tree. Both experiences are ‘true’. While Being is more intimate and gentle, Doing is more active and lively.
In Western culture we tend to value being over doing. We may even think of being as a negative state- wasting time or ‘doing nothing’. Time is seen as a commodity, something to fill like a container- the more the better. As a result, many people feel guilty when they slow down or stop doing. They may also be used to the overstimulation of doing so much, consuming experiences without really digesting them, that they find slowing down difficult or uncomfortable and may only do it unconsciously, while watching a movie or going to sleep. But all of us have had experiences of conscious Being.
When you look up into a night sky full of stars and feel the vastness of everything- you are in a state of Being. One of the hallmarks of this state is a sense of wonder. Another is a feeling of connection with the world, other people and yourself. When you are in the state of Being, you are receptive and open. You might find yourself suddenly having an answer to a problem, or understand some subtle shift in a relationship. The information doesn’t come from thinking, which is an active state. It simply arises- naturally and quietly out of you being you.
Young children are pros at Being.
They spend large amounts of time exploring the world in ways that are very simple like collecting rocks, watching birds, or picking up and examining sticks.
In this open state, the world is endlessly fascinating, and there is nothing in it that does not hold the potential for deep exploration. What’s unfortunate is that as part of learning to do as adults do, children are taught to do as adults do-to fill their time with more , and they lose their natural connection to themselves and the world.
There’s nothing wrong with Doing, but it can be exhausting and overwhelming to always exist in this state. If you haven’t connected with Being in a while it’s something you can cultivate and notice how it influences and enriches your life. One way to do this in meditation. When you meditate you practice being alert and present while sitting with your eyes closed. This is Being, distilled. The process retrains your body and mind to sit calmly, to be open, to receive without going unconscious or falling asleep. There are many different types of meditation, and some are more structured than others. As an adult I tried many different types until I found one that worked best for me. A friend gifted me a class, and the experience sent me down a path of self discovery. Today, this is still the one I teach to others.
This style worked for me because it’s a bit more interactive than some other forms. For me, as a person deeply identified with doing- that felt better and more productive. This style of meditation is also non-denominational. . You don’t have to believe in anything to try it, just have a willingness to sit with yourself and see what comes up. Sometimes people say that meditation is ‘boring’ or ‘hard’, but that is just a period of adjusting to doing something new. It’s like going for a run for the first time in years. It might feel weird or uncomfortable at first- because you’re retraining yourself and building strength. Once you’ve adjusted to it, you start to look forward to it because it feels good.
When I sit down to meditate, I’m looking at my internal space the way you might sit and take in a view.
I’m noticing what’s there and how I feel and I’m also using visualization tools to help create space where things are feeling stuck. It’s a little like a self-led energetic massage. Slow, curious and with the intention of helping me connect with myself and my body.
Being present in meditation can be challenging. It requires some commitment and a lot of grace. But for me, the payoff has been immense. When you sit with yourself every day with the intention to be present- you begin to change and grow. You might be surprised at what shifts in your life when you take 20 minutes just to be. If you’re curious to learn more about the meditation class I teach called Energy Essentials- you can check it out here.
